Weight Loss

Weeelll. I forgot to weight myself this week but I'm pretty sure it didn't change. I learnt this week that I need to stay away from Youtube. I found Divorce Court at Christmas and I've been thoroughly addicted since. I don't even know why. Sat on my ass so much this last week I can't believe I'm still capable of walking.

Also, I need to have a lot of food precooked and ready to go or I'm going for the snacks, and the snacks have to be there for a working woman so I can't get rid of them. I completely failed at eradicating caffeine which my body hates. So we'll be trying again this week. At least I avoided chocolate and most junk food. But I've been (TMI) on that vampire time of month and I haven't. Stopped. Eating.

Another problem: Realm Of The Mad God. Holy shit that game is fucking sinful. Go on when you have a spare half hour and three hours later you're swearing at the screen and sobbing over the special gear you just lost.

On the productive side, I have been working on sketching. Thoroughly terrible at it as usual but I find it incredibly enjoyable. Might share my lack of talent eventually. This kind of bad needs preservation so you can show your art teacher that not everyone is capable of drawing like they used to tell me. Didn't realise how much time it consumed until I started learning, but it's also very relaxing.

Just gotta try for a loss this week.

BioMed Course

Trying to get my enrollment in order for this year with a little trepidation. The head of my field is a little doubtful that I can do if full-time since I work and the courseload is more than a full-time job. I would agree except..I'm 30. Years. Old. Haha, I'm outta time baby. If I go part-time I'll be in school for 16 years just to get where I'm going and that's just not feasible. I'm hoping I'll be able to push myself to do BioMed for 3 years full-time and another 3-4 years in Medical School. Then another year Since I want to do Med School full-time as well this course will be a good trial to see if I can hack it. At the same time I have to work. I know that American women often work 60-80 hours a week or something because they have to. Well, I have to. I'm nervous though. So far the plan is:

BioMed: 3 years
Medical School: 4 years
Intern: 1 year
Residency: 1 year
GP Registrar: 2 years

I also want to have a kid but I'll be 37 once I finish Medical School and start earning money from the job so I think I might miss out on having a kid. I'll just have to get a bunch of cats to make up for it. Unless I get a good paying job in Biomedical Science and do Med School part-time which is an option but one I really don't like since I want to be there for my kid. Option 2 is to work in BioMed and delay Medical School until my kid is school age at which point, go in part-time. That would put this whole process as 17 years. It also means I'll have to struggle to pay for the things my kid needs.

The first plan seems to be the best option. I've been grieving for my inability to be the parent I want to be since I started suspecting I wouldn't be able to do both. One of the reasons I went this direction was so I could work part-time and still afford to raise a child on my own. Another reason is so I can financially support my parents when they reach the age where that's necessary. Another is because I just love Medicine.

There is still the possibility of having kids after the first 8 years and that seems to be the option I'll be looking at. I love being single but I know I'll also deeply regret not having kids since I already feel the maternal need.

(whines) it's hard getting old. Where's that immortality vaccine?